HATERS

Let's just talk about haters for a second. Haters are everywhere. They may be your friends. They may be your family. They come in many different sizes, shapes, and genders.

With that being said, let me get into what I, so creatively I might add, call "hater logic". Haters justify their existence by saying things like, "Hey, I'm just being honest" or "I'm saying this as a friend". They use this "hater logic" because to them, and to the untrained mind, it makes sense. Certainly there are some honest people who are wrongfully called haters. But to truly identify someone as a hater, one must take into account the amount of so called "honest opinions" a hater may offer. If you spend an evening with a hater, take a note of how many comments are being made with negative connotations or insinuations within them. A hater will give a preponderance of "honest opinions" that always seem to be demeaning or belittling to someone around them. It's a fine line between cracking a joke and disseminating your hate, so hater detectors beware.

The advanced hater will also use subtle phrases to "soften" the hate such as "This is just my opinion" and "No disrespect, but". These phrases are meant to help the hater bypass your personal "anti-hater comment" security checkpoint. But the professional hater detector understands that putting a glove on my hand doesn't mean I can't still knock yo mutha f#@kin a$$ out ya dig?

Note to those amateurs who want to use this information to graduate to professional levels of hater detection. Once a hater is discovered, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT tell a hater that he/she is a hater. Much like trying to tell a smartass they don't know everything or attempting to convince a sididdy chick she really ain't that fine, this line of conversation only leads to mindnumbing frustration, more hateration spewed, and possibly, if you don't recognize the game, a plethora of "strong talk"(for those without the ability to deduce the meaning of self explanatory ebonics, aggressive and loud speaking).

When a hater is recognized, pull out your pen and pad, add them to the list, silently congratulate yourself on gaining yet another (or your first) hater, and keep it pushin. Though it may be difficult, you must "Dr. King" your haters and treat them with love and respect. That is unless they put they hands on ya.

Random

This one is for the fellas...

Me personally, I prefer to to use the bathroom at my own house. Not just when I want to sit on my porcelain throne, but also when I need to "no. 1". That being said....

Have you ever been out, at the club, or in a movie or sumthin, and...during a lull in the movie or in mental stimulation...you think to yourself, "Hey I think I might need to go to the bathroom." But then right after that thought occurs, mental stimulation comes right back and you forget about it. Well then when you are driving home, you're thinking, "DAMN, I gotta use the restroom." It's really not that serious until...as SOON as you bust in the door, your lil man goes haywire. It turns into a damn porcelain detector and it needs release. The closer you get to the toilet, the more pressure builds up....You end up doin a lil James Brown dance while you're messin with your zipper

On many occasions after a long night out, I can recall damn near pissing myself due to ignoring mother nature's signals...

Maybe it's only me...I know...random...