Now let's talk about a disturbing trend. With the advent of social networking sites from BlackPlanet to Facebook to Myspace, some negroes have begun to operate with the assumption that it is okay to attempt to shoot game online to unsuspecting females. I had heard rumors of this rubbish and never had personally witnessed this "digipimpin" but this debacle landed on my doorstep a few weeks ago...
A couple months ago, I decided the picture on my facebook profile would be dedicated to the magical creation that is a woman. In other words, models and video vixens adorn my profile pics. Now the first couple months were pretty much met with some sprinkles of hate from female friends (of course) and fanmail from negroes who tended to check for a new profile pic when they asses supposed to be working (of course). Well, recently, I have been receiving personal messages from these internet lames that think they got some game. Messages have ranged from the overconfident (Hey Beautiful! How about I take you out?) to the overly self-deprecating (I normally don't do this...but).
Now while I normally don't try to generalize (I'm lyin, of course I do), these digi-dummies have one thing in common...
THEY'RE ALL SHOOTIN GAME AT A GROWN-ASS MAN!!!!
Unacceptable people. First rule of any kind of mackin is know who the hell you're talkin to. I wonder how these web weiners (Am I killin the internet alliteration?Ok. I'll stop.) Manage to skip the name next to the picture. It's not like my name is sexually ambiguous in any way. If you've ever met a female Eric, slap her parents. PLEASE. I'm talkin Mike-Epps-in-How-High-style wit the baby powder and everything...
Now some of these croutons do get a pass because they're foreign. They can't read the name all they see is the booty. Understandable. Wait. No they don't. How in God's name could anybody pimp online wit a foreigner who's working with a completely different keyboard anyways? Unless you're sending nudie pics how could he/she get the hint? I'm rambling lemme wrap it up.
I, personally, find internet pimpin lame. Bishop Don Juan does too. So does Suga Free. And Bill Clinton. Him too.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
You Can't Make A Ho A Housewife....Can You?
I was recently asked by a female, "Could a woman go from a B-U-D-D-Y to your wifey?" Many men have come to this crossroads. Brad Pitt. Donald Trump. Nelly. Bill Clinton. Eric Benet. Hell, even some women have had to deal. Halle Berry. Oprah. Some can easily be overpowered by a jumpoff's sexual prowess (Darius McCrary), and some can never fully recognize their jumpoff as a person due to their willingness to be a jumpoff with no questions asked (Oprah).
The answer is simple: it depends.
If one has come to the point where he/she wonders whether to upgrade to wifey/man status, one must first consider a few things. First and foremost one has to consider whether or not the person is a ho/manho. Under no circumstances is it EVER okay to wife up a ho. None whatsoever. I don't care what anybody tells you, you are certified lame if you're now paying for the cow that everybody else milked for free. You, my friend, have no game. Or self-confidence. Or the right to call your woman yours because everyone else had/has her to. Go to jail, you do not collect $200. Now don't misconstrue me to mean that your jumpoff needs to be monogamous before you consider the upgrade, for that is completely unrealistic and in direct contradiction to the whole point of being/having a jumpoff. I only say that to stress that it is unacceptable if all of your homies can share "It was crazy when she did this..." stories about your proposed wifey. Second, if the jumpoff passes the first test, then one must consider the personality of the jumpoff. In your understandably short conversation time with your jumpoff, does she seem to be compatible with you? Now for some this may be easy, but for some, this might be like being asked to predict tomorrow's lotto numbers. For the difficult ones, all I can say is before you make the leap, make some kind of conversation. About ANYTHING. Just to see where her head is at, because you want to do all you can to avoid the "Everything was going great, but then..." story.
To the homies, I just say make sure you're jumpoff isn't TOO good at sex. She can be good, but if a chick is puttin it down like a pornstar every night, you might wanna think about how many "shoots" she had to attend. Ya dig?
The answer is simple: it depends.
If one has come to the point where he/she wonders whether to upgrade to wifey/man status, one must first consider a few things. First and foremost one has to consider whether or not the person is a ho/manho. Under no circumstances is it EVER okay to wife up a ho. None whatsoever. I don't care what anybody tells you, you are certified lame if you're now paying for the cow that everybody else milked for free. You, my friend, have no game. Or self-confidence. Or the right to call your woman yours because everyone else had/has her to. Go to jail, you do not collect $200. Now don't misconstrue me to mean that your jumpoff needs to be monogamous before you consider the upgrade, for that is completely unrealistic and in direct contradiction to the whole point of being/having a jumpoff. I only say that to stress that it is unacceptable if all of your homies can share "It was crazy when she did this..." stories about your proposed wifey. Second, if the jumpoff passes the first test, then one must consider the personality of the jumpoff. In your understandably short conversation time with your jumpoff, does she seem to be compatible with you? Now for some this may be easy, but for some, this might be like being asked to predict tomorrow's lotto numbers. For the difficult ones, all I can say is before you make the leap, make some kind of conversation. About ANYTHING. Just to see where her head is at, because you want to do all you can to avoid the "Everything was going great, but then..." story.
To the homies, I just say make sure you're jumpoff isn't TOO good at sex. She can be good, but if a chick is puttin it down like a pornstar every night, you might wanna think about how many "shoots" she had to attend. Ya dig?
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