Thinking Man's Moment

A couple of the homies were talking about women and how they do wrong and how we do wrong to them. It started with my lil homie talkin about how he just broke up with his girl (she was only his second girlfriend, and was his longest) and how he had seen her after he broke up with her and the feelings were still there and how he was gonna move on, yada yada yada. Anyways, we all concluded, that with how important she was, he's never going to really be able to completely lose his feelings for her, but what he has to do is be able to learn from the experience and continue to grow. After we had the conversation, my man was like, "Yo E, that goes for you too...You need to go out more...cuz you have a lot to offer.."

When he said that, I kinda paused because this conversation wasn't even about me, but it got brought around to me. And being this was coming from somebody I respect, I took it.

I agreed that I need to get out more, but I've kinda been really relaxing from the social scene for a reason. Reason 1 is I haven't gotten over my ex yet, and am not sure if I ever want to. But reason 2 is that I feel like I'm still in the process of self-examination. In these last couple of months, I've learned a LOT about myself and definitely took some major steps in matching my self-perception with my public perception. I feel like I'm still figuring out what I have to offer because I'm realizing that I'm much more than I thought I was (young, black, and degreed) and I'm learning to harness that. I'm becoming much more comfortable with myself, without having to disparage others. Learning how to be confident but not cocky. Smart but not a smarta$$. While I haven't completely turned all those things around in a few months, there is an immense power in being truly aware of your deficiencies. I don't want to go too far off on a tangent, but I think I will have to make more of an effort to get out of the house and meet new people. Even if not to get a new girl, but to share with others what I have to offer. That's what God put us all on this Earth to do right?