Options

“Choice of aim is clearly a matter of clarification of values, especially on the choice between possible options.”
- W. Edwards Deming

I would like to think that I was blessed enough to be a little taller, more handsome, and smarter than your average bear, thus being the reason I've always felt like I've had options. When I say options, I mean that I've always had an inner conviction that no one is the determiner of my fate but me. In any given situation, good or bad, I feel like I am the one that put myself there.

Currently, I am struggling internally with what I feel are my options. Behind door number 1 I have my new job. Like I've mentioned before, I can make some great money in a relatively short period of time. This would allow me to do some things I've always wanted to do, like spoil my mom, sister, and brothers, build a stronger financial foundation for myself, and to be honest, spoil myself a little bit. Also, my manager has taken a liking to me, and has made it known that he wants to put me on the fast track to management within the company (and another level of income). I fear becoming so in love with the money, that I lose myself and who I want to be. Behind door number 2 is law school. A law degree has been a goal of mine and I know that I have a gift and passion for the law. I want to enroll in a JD/MBA program next year. My struggle is would I want to do it part-time or full-time. I don't want to be in school for another decade trying to finish part-time, but I also don't want to cut off everything else in my life(something that I hear you must do to be successful in law school) to finish. Behind door number 3 is my current position within the music industry. Being in the industry, you know you're life can change overnight. No one wants to be left outside looking in at something they sacrificed so much for. Also, I and the people I live with have become almost family and a part of me feels like when/if I do take my life in another direction, I will be letting them down and burning that bridge.

In the little down time (lately) that I've been getting, I try to figure out what I want to do, and have bounced my thoughts off of a few other people. I'm trying to listen to what God wants me to do with my life, but I feel like I'm getting different signals each day/minute/moment...