The Light Is On

Had a job interview today...I think it went well, but I'll find out tomorrow if they like me enough to give me a job. I really hope they do. I feel like, in the situation that I'm in, living with my co-workers, people tend to de-value what I do. At first I was mad, but then I told myself that I can't be mad at human nature. When people have the ability to have use you on an almost "on-call" basis all day every day, they don't have the time to appreciate what you do because there's never a time when you're not there.

For so long (almost 2 and a half years), I've sacrificed how I want to live now, for where I want to be later. Not that that's a bad thing, but I think I may have taken that ethos to the extreme. I've been exploring the music industry for some time now, and learned a lot about myself. I've been broker than broke, and I've been just okay, but I've yet to maximize my earning power in this industry. One thing I've noticed in this industry is that many people (like myself)do dumb things (ie don't get regular jobs) because of this ideal of "sacrifice". We almost attach a kind of nobility to being broke until we "make it". We create illogical barriers such as "I can't get a job, because if I do, people in the industry might see me working, and that will hurt my reputation in the business." How foolish is this arguing why you can't get a job, but also argue that you have to make it a point to look like you have money. We perpetuate this "fake it 'til you make it" proverb, which only continues the vicious cycle of ni@@az doin ni@@a sh*t.

I say all of that to say, that I now refuse to live this life anymore. I refuse to be the best dressed poor guy you know (clothes bought when I HAD a job). Today I watched someone go through their phone looking for someone they could borrow gas money from, get the money, come back and put on a $600 outfit (literally) and go about their business. I'm not judging in any way, because I am guilty of committing the same act of coonery (not quite $600, but maybe $150). I only use that as a microcosm of what is going on in this industry.

To paraphrase the famous Pogo quote: I have met the enemy, and he is I.