White Lady Named Wanda

I was havin problems with my emails on my blackberry (BB over Iphone ANYDAY homie!) so I called AT&T. Now, me being a AT&T veteran, I promptly pushed the number to get my a$$ to technical support. After a couple minutes, a nice lady named Wanda (who sounded like a white lady, never met a white lady named Wanda before) who asked the usual verification info. I gave it to her and I explained the problem about me not receiving emails and I was somehow unable to add an email account on my phone. The first thing this chick begins her reply to me with is, "My instructions say..." HOLD UP. TIMEOUT. Is this chick readin off a computer screen? Understand that I know that is what they do, but it's kinda like a Chris Brown apology. What you're saying might just be right, but it loses a whole lotta credibility when I know ur readin. Anyways, I go ahead and listen to what "her" instructions say to do, and of course, it ain't workin. Sidenote again: one thing I hate about technical support is they assume you're a dumba$$. They take you through the most basic a$$, probably never works a$$ stuff like, "Can you turn your phone off and turn it back on?" 99% of technologically illiterate people are gonna turn their phone off then turn it back on to fix any seemingly technical glitch with their device, so asking me did I do that is kind of a big huge waste of time ya dig?

Anyways, after about 20 minutes of her giving me pointless instructions that I KNOW aren't going to work and me thinking to myself, "Of all the people that had to be at work right now, I had to call in and get the new chick?" I finally took the wheel of this car speeding on the highway to "wtf"land and suggested to her what I needed to solve the problem. Her being new, she had no idea how to get me what I needed, so she said she would transfer me to her "technical team". HOLDUP. 30 SEC TIMEOUT COACH. "TECHNICAL TEAM?!" BI#@H AREN'T YOU THE TECHNICAL TEAM?! Anyways, I let that one go and then this chick gives me the whole obligatory crap they have to say before they end the call, and I wasn't really listening until this chick had the nerve to say, "At AT&T, our goal is to provide you with "one-call" service solutions, did I provide you with that today?" HOLDUP AGAIN. HELLS NAW! I paused for a second because I couldn't believe she could say something like that with a straight face. Listen here bi#@h, if you're about to TRANSFER me, how the hell is that a "one-call" solution?



To make a long story short, the white lady named Wanda transferred me to someone who knew what the hell they were talkin about and I got exactly what I needed. The lesson in this story is if you ever call AT&T and get a white lady named Wanda on the line, hang up promptly and press redial. At least for the next couple months...

PS - Please pardon my use of the word bi#@h. I'm sure Wanda's a nice lady. I just used that because I think that sometimes cursing can add comedic value to a story. Ask Richard Pryor. Go build a bridge Mother Theresa/Bishop Tutu.