G.I. Joes (and Janes)

Most of us know at least ONE person in the military...and if you happened to have lived in a low-income area where the military routinely sends out the crew cut howie long look-a-like street team...then you know quite a few...

Now if you've every hung out with a person who's in the military...you know there is no way you can have any conversation lasting longer than 5 minutes without them making SOME reference to the military. "Yea man, that's like when we was in the barracks..." or "We had a place like that on base..."

Now granted I got nuthin but love and respect for all my homies in the military, and I'm sure it was a life changing experience and all, but homie PLEASE stop tellin me about your drunken military escapades or how much money you were/are makin tax-free or how much foreign breezys love soldiers (they just want a green card Iceberg Slim, not YOU). If the military was that great, what the hell you doin back here talkin bout it for my ninja. Something you didn't like had to happen. I didn't know that "army of one" really means "army of publicists of one". I swear it's like some cleverly calculated conspiracy (aaahh the alliteration) by the government. I never hear the homies tell me about the bad things about the military like, um, i don't know, being in a WAR ZONE where you're the only one wearing readily identifiable uniforms.

And don't get me on the ones that start to get front lines siditty and say things that begin or end with "you civilians". NINJA PLEASE. You ain't in no Delta Force or Navy Seals or Army Rangers or Men In Black or Mission Impossible. Ninja I knew you in HIGH SCHOOL. Don't talk about "you civilians" like we a different species after sgt. slaughter taught you how to take orders with no questions asked. I'll still kick your basic training a$$ in the nutz and call it a day patna....

Just remember, next time G.I. bro wants to start tellin his full metal jacket stories with a smile on his face, remind him that Bush could still use him...