This is for my fellow night owls. If you've spent any time looking at a television after midnight, you have definitely come into contact with Mr. Billy Mays, or as I have dubbed him, The Greatest Salesman Ever.
America first came into contact with the GSE when the product OxiClean hit the market. At the time, the mid 90's, I wasn't much of a clothes washer. But when I heard this man yell at me about OxiClean, I asked my mother why we didn't have any. Every time I see his commercials, I'm thankful my wallet isn't around. For some reason, I get sucked into his high-volume energy and lumberjack facial hair, and I want to buy whatever he's selling. It's absolutely insane to me. How can this 50 yr old white guy, hypnotize me, a 25 yr old black male, into buying whatever he's selling? It's a miracle in race relations people, that's what it is.
You think 50 Cent did wonders for Vitamin Water? Could you even imagine the luxury water global monopoly that would occur if Billy Mays sold "Formula Mays"? I tell you, this guy needs to be teaching Sales courses at Harvard. They should be He's the absolute real deal.
Just my opinion....
PS - For those haters who think I'm the only one who's buying what he's selling, his $1.8 million house says otherwise. BOOTCH.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Kanye
Ok ladies and gents. This one has been heavy on my heart for a while. Kanye West is an absolute creative genius. He definitely pushes the limits on hip-hop music and is one of the few artists that insists on pushing music forward with every album. But let's be real with ourselves people.
IT IS NOT OK TO RELEASE A SINGING ALBUM!!!!!!!
How in the name of Jesus/Allah/Vishnu did you people hear that Love Lockdown record and call it genius is beyond me. If that record was done by Yung Berg, we'd all be signing the online petition for Berg to be dropped (if that hasn't been started already). But oh, just because it's KANYE, we think it's a good song. Negro please. Kanye does not SING. He clearly RAPS. How did we ever get this confused? If a dog chirps, it's STILL a dog. We just look at it like, "The hell is wrong wit this dog?"
Don't allow your "fan ears" (sumthin much akin to beer goggles) to color your honest opinion. Most people don't like this record the first time they hear it, so don't let your blind devotion for all things Kanye allow this record to grow on you.
This is my plea, that I know will fall on many deaf ears, because you're reading this anyways, probably while listening to that crap a$$ record right now.
IT IS NOT OK TO RELEASE A SINGING ALBUM!!!!!!!
How in the name of Jesus/Allah/Vishnu did you people hear that Love Lockdown record and call it genius is beyond me. If that record was done by Yung Berg, we'd all be signing the online petition for Berg to be dropped (if that hasn't been started already). But oh, just because it's KANYE, we think it's a good song. Negro please. Kanye does not SING. He clearly RAPS. How did we ever get this confused? If a dog chirps, it's STILL a dog. We just look at it like, "The hell is wrong wit this dog?"
Don't allow your "fan ears" (sumthin much akin to beer goggles) to color your honest opinion. Most people don't like this record the first time they hear it, so don't let your blind devotion for all things Kanye allow this record to grow on you.
This is my plea, that I know will fall on many deaf ears, because you're reading this anyways, probably while listening to that crap a$$ record right now.
EGOS
Now I work in the music industry right, a place full of napoleon complexes, rampant insecurity, and manly men with girly sensitivity, so one would think that I would be unaffected by people and their ridiculous egos, but that is most certainly not the case.
You couldn't believe the amount of people in this industry that have in no way matched their perceptions of themselves and the real world. Considering this is what I do, I won't give names, but some people just really need to get it together.
If I got no legs, I have no business walkin around actin like I can win an a$$-kicking contest. Likewise, if I got no arms, I shouldn't keep tellin everybody I give the best hugs. It just makes no d@mn sense people.
Take me for example, now I know I'm not perfect, and I think everyone succesful in the music industry has to possess some kind of ego, but I don't think I take it overboard. I tell everyone I work with, I don't sing, I don't rap, I don't songwrite, I don't produce. That is what all those other wonderfully talented people do. I know what I'm good at is building relationships and focusing on the big picture. I do what I do, and creative people do what they do.
People look silly when they step out of what they do and try to do what other people do. For example, when Kobe rapped, we all laughed. Kobe plays basketball. Kobe doesn't rap. See how easy that is?
Back to this music game and all the crazy egos. I think there should be a website (if u take my idea, gimme my percentage) called whattheyreallydo.com. This website should be set up as a directory of people in the industry. You can have little profiles a la myspace, and on it should be a list of what he/she does. With every item on the list, there should be some corresponding evidence, that they indeed do that item they listed. People should be able to either confirm or deny that what you listed is actually what you do. True, you might have some haters, but I'm assuming the majority of people in the industry aren't hating on you, and if they are, you might just be an a$$hole so work on that patna. I think, over time, the website could become a pretty valid source of information on people in the industry and can be used to refute all that "industry bs" that these folks out here be talking.
Again, if you take my idea in any manner, expect a letter from my lawyer. I ain't hatin, I just like gettin my check, ya dig.
You couldn't believe the amount of people in this industry that have in no way matched their perceptions of themselves and the real world. Considering this is what I do, I won't give names, but some people just really need to get it together.
If I got no legs, I have no business walkin around actin like I can win an a$$-kicking contest. Likewise, if I got no arms, I shouldn't keep tellin everybody I give the best hugs. It just makes no d@mn sense people.
Take me for example, now I know I'm not perfect, and I think everyone succesful in the music industry has to possess some kind of ego, but I don't think I take it overboard. I tell everyone I work with, I don't sing, I don't rap, I don't songwrite, I don't produce. That is what all those other wonderfully talented people do. I know what I'm good at is building relationships and focusing on the big picture. I do what I do, and creative people do what they do.
People look silly when they step out of what they do and try to do what other people do. For example, when Kobe rapped, we all laughed. Kobe plays basketball. Kobe doesn't rap. See how easy that is?
Back to this music game and all the crazy egos. I think there should be a website (if u take my idea, gimme my percentage) called whattheyreallydo.com. This website should be set up as a directory of people in the industry. You can have little profiles a la myspace, and on it should be a list of what he/she does. With every item on the list, there should be some corresponding evidence, that they indeed do that item they listed. People should be able to either confirm or deny that what you listed is actually what you do. True, you might have some haters, but I'm assuming the majority of people in the industry aren't hating on you, and if they are, you might just be an a$$hole so work on that patna. I think, over time, the website could become a pretty valid source of information on people in the industry and can be used to refute all that "industry bs" that these folks out here be talking.
Again, if you take my idea in any manner, expect a letter from my lawyer. I ain't hatin, I just like gettin my check, ya dig.
Disney Movies
For you people that haven't yet been able to experience the good times to be had kickin it witcha boy, one thing about me, I luv me some Disney movies.
Yea, I said it, I'm talkin Lion King, Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast DISNEY MOVIES. If you're reading this right now and you're formulating some kinda series of jokes to say next time you see me, DON'T PLAY YASELF. You rock wit Disney too.
Many times, have people come to my house and looked at the movie collection and had sumthin to say about my Disney collection. But you know what? Bet they picked a Disney movie to watch. Now don't get it twisted, I don't have Simba night lights, or a Bambi puzzle, I just appreciate the movies.
If you don't, you might wanna call up your parents, talk about your misplaced anger, cry that ish out, then head to your local blockbuster and cop that Kung Fu Panda and prepare to be blinded by "the overexposure to pure awesomeness".
Yea, I said it, I'm talkin Lion King, Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast DISNEY MOVIES. If you're reading this right now and you're formulating some kinda series of jokes to say next time you see me, DON'T PLAY YASELF. You rock wit Disney too.
Many times, have people come to my house and looked at the movie collection and had sumthin to say about my Disney collection. But you know what? Bet they picked a Disney movie to watch. Now don't get it twisted, I don't have Simba night lights, or a Bambi puzzle, I just appreciate the movies.
If you don't, you might wanna call up your parents, talk about your misplaced anger, cry that ish out, then head to your local blockbuster and cop that Kung Fu Panda and prepare to be blinded by "the overexposure to pure awesomeness".
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