Real Love

At work today, I ran into a bubbly young lady who absolutely lit up my day. Actually she wasn't young, she was in fact a grandmother, but she had the energy of a 13 year old. Her vibe was absolutely contagious. I told her how great her spirit was and she said her mother told her that if you can't put a smile on someone's face every day, then you might as well be dead. She then brought over her husband who was just as affable. He and I spoke for about 30 minutes about his flight and then about his wife. He told me that he had met his wife when he was interviewing people to be his assistant. He said that by the end of the interview, he knew she was the one and actually gave her a kiss on the cheek and said he would call her the next day. Needless to say he hired her and the rest was history. He said his wife told him to quit his job and start a company. She said he would make a little less money the first year, but after that he would make more money than he ever had. He was scared, but he trusted her. She helped him start his company and sure enough everything she said came true. He ended up by saying that he owes all of his success to her and has been very happily married with her for 42 years and counting. He said he loves her as much today as the first time he met her.

Just meeting those two made me hopeful. After spending 5 minutes with them both, you could tell that those two were just MEANT to be together. I hope to one day have that kind of love for myself. While "dating" is fun for a while, I know the happiest moments in my life have been the ones that I have been able to share with a significant other. I believe that kind of love is out there for everyone. I guess you just have to be ready for it when it comes along. I hope I will be...

Grown Man Sh*t

I've been puttin people on this liquid crack for about a year and a half now after my ex put me on. I never thought wine tasted too good to me but this one is so sweet that I can drink this ALL day. If you ever wanna have a chill nite wit a lady friend or two...this is the stuff to break out. This sh*t gets the stamp of approval. Tell a friend to tell a friend. Moscato is liquid crack!

Family

For thanksgiving I was gonna spend the day at my crib just chillin and maybe ordering some chinese food, but instead my homie randomly came through and told me to bring my a$$ to his man's crib to eat with his family. I reluctantly agreed, but at the end of the day I was glad I went. His mom made some bomb a$$ poundcake and cookies that made my inner fat boy spaz a lil bit. After that we went on a liquor run and I found out that they don't sell hard liquor on Thanksgiving, only beer and wine (wtf is what I said too). Ended up playing this drinking game with the homies and some random a$$ females. Note, I'm not a heavy drinker, so I don't really do drinking games. I prefer to drink enough to get a buzz then maintain through the evening. Needless to say, I was the first to quit the drinking game. Took my drunk a$$ home and called it a nite.

While I did have a good time yesterday, I met some cool people and had some good food, I found myself longing to be with my family. I called my mom and she told me that EVERYBODY was coming over to spend the day and they cooked tons of food. I would've killed to be there. I even found myself jealous of the homie whose house we were at. As I get older, the more I realize how important family is. It is an indescribable feeling to be in a room full of unconditional love. It is a feeling we sometimes take for granted. I know I used to.

Boyfriend Material

Went out on a "date" last night. One thing I realized (I knew this before I went on the date, but this confirmed it) I am in no way at this point in my life boyfriend material. I mean from the outside looking in I may be, young, single, handsome, ambitious (got a job), but I don't feel like having a girlfriend AT ALL at this point. I'm at a very selfish point in my life. I don't feel like asking a woman all about herself, when I don't really care. I don't feel like pretending to be interested in what another person thinks. I don't feel like going to someplace or doing something that I don't really feel like doing to make someone else feel better. I don't feel like trying to impress anyone. I really just feel like doing what I want to do when I want to do it, and am currently very ok with operating that way right now. As for the date:

We went to the movies (to see Precious, which I wanted to see). I bought the tickets and the food at the concession stand (note: I paused after the cashier told me how much the food was to see if she would offer to pay for it. She didn't). She also kept trying to talk to me throughout the movie (which irritates the sh*t outta me). This girl has a habit of talking about herself waaaay too much. Everything can be turned into a story about herself. Granted, I'm not known to be the most forthright with personal information about myself, but at least if I'm going to listen to someone else talk all evening, I would hope that the person is engaging or entertaining on some level. You know one of those people who have the ability to draw you into their story? She's not one of them. After the movie, we went to the gas station where she said, "Pay or pump?" At that moment I realized how much I didn't want to be there. Now being a gentleman, I pumped the gas, but I really didn't want to.

Now understand, my momma raised me right. I know how to be a gentleman and most women who have met me would describe me as such. I just realized last night, how much I secretly enjoyed not having to worry about things like being thoughtful.


Now that I think about it, it may just be that I don't like the girl that I went on a "date" with that much. Because I don't. I'm gonna have to tell her that too before this gets outta hand.

Precious

I finally saw the movie "Precious" last night. I would say that I'm never going to see that movie again, but I would recommend that everyone see it because it is a powerful movie. I saw some promo material for the movie wherein Oprah says, "This movie is our generation's Color Purple." I must respectfully disagree with Lady O. While both movies possess parts that are difficult to watch, Precious actually made my stomach turn at times. I also think that the Color Purple left the moviegoer with a feeling that it all works out in the end, Precious does no such thing. Precious takes you out of movieland with happy endings and into the real world which is (at times) far more brutal and cold.

Ultimately, the overwhelming feeling of reality throughout Precious makes for a more soul-wrenching experience. I would tell anyone who hasn't seen it to do so, at least to put your life in some kind of perspective. Next time you wanna complain about something, think about C.Precious Jones.

ADD Blog

- I went to work today and didn't find out until AFTER my shift that I was supposed to be OFF today...my manager said, "Look at it this way...Your check is going to be a little bit fatter next week!" I told him to bring his a$$ in on his next day off and let me tell him that ol' "turn lemons to lemonade" bullsh*t". Das wack. Ain't no way to sugarcoat that.

- I got an email from my ex today saying simply that she forgave me for cheating on her. We haven't had any communication in about 6 or 7 months. Honestly, it made my day a lil bit...deep sh*t rite?

- Had a funny discussion with my mom on the phone tonight. She was suggesting (telling) to me that I needed to handle a situation a certain way. I argued that she was stating her opinion as fact. She went further to say that the way she would do it is the right way to handle it. I said how could she know if she had never been in the same situation that I am currently in? She went on to give the lame "mother knows best" trump card they all use. I then told her that I realized where I got that tendency from. I too would state my opinion as fact. My sister had always told both me and my mom about ourselves on many occasions, but today for some reason it hit me. We both had a good laugh about it...

- It has seemed like every day for the last week or so, I have signed up or ran into an attorney at the airport. I'm a believer that God gives us signs, and it's up to us to perceive them. I'm thinking that those "coincidences" aren't that "coincidental"....

- True story; me and the homies were having an argument last night at the crib about the music industry (like we always do) and an episode of "Desparate Housewives" was on. There was some scene where one of the girls was cheating on her husband or something and she was about to get caught, but her friend saved her. Tell me why somehow, in the middle of our conversation we all shut up at the same time and watched that whole scene in silence for a good 10 or 15 minutes. That's how you know you got a tv show. We represented in no way the target audience, but our black a$$es where sittin there in silence watchin this chick hide her jumpoff outside her bedroom window on the roof while she lied to her husband. We came out of it when my man was like, "Wait, wtf were we talkin about?" Hilarious.

Back on Dat Hardbody Sh*t

Got my black a$$ up this morning to go running before work...It was cold as hell. I was out there on my "Rocky" sh*t. Ain't no other ni@@a runnin through the hood at 7 in the morning (unless it's from the police). If you haven't noticed by my lack of discussing it, I haven't worked out in about 2 weeks. Starting to feel pudgy (it's all in my mind, but who cares). I got down to 182 at one point, as of last night, I'm 188.

Watch me now...

At the Barbershop Today....

This sh*t almost f#@ked up my edgeup...

Uppity Negro

I decided to take a short trip to the flea market around the corner today to see if there was anything I wanted (I was actually looking for a pair of sweats, but whatever). So as I was walking through the flea market, the first thing that hit me was the smell. Straight up, that place stunk. Then as I was walking around, looking at stuff, the little voice inside my head kept getting louder saying, "WTF are you doing here?"

I hadn't really been shopping at the flea market since around my freshman year in college. And in high school, the swap meet might as well have been the mall for ya boy. I remember taking whatever money I earned from my lame-a$$ job at Baskins-Robbins to the swap meet to pick up some more "Cali hood negro" uniforms: white tees, dickies, and house shoes. My mom hated when I wore that stuff, but you couldn't tell my wannabe Snoop-a$$ nuthin.

When I left the market (with nothing) I was thinking to myself, am I a bourgeoisie ni@@a? Am I Bryant Gumble negro? Naw, I'm just growing up. XXL long white tees ain't it for me no more. I like my clothes a little more fitted now (skinny jeans have not been, are not, and never will be it for me tho). I like for a chick to be able to look at me and tell I work out. My style ain't European, but it ain't thug neither. It's me. Ya dig?

Whenever I Get Too High...

This song brings me back to Earth...never forget from whence you came...

I fux wit this dude....

Jets ni@@a...now where haven't we...been...

Current Playlist

Just cause I felt like it...







You know u f#@k wit Flocka...OLETSDOIT!!!

This some bullsh*t...

Today the sh*t hit the fan...I got pulled over today for an expired tag, and found out my license was suspended. Thank God, the cop decided to have mercy and not take me in...he took my car and my license though...it sucks...but could've been worse :)

Took the taxi today...forgot how expensive that sh*t is...when I took the taxi home today, the a$$hole tried to play dumb and go the wrong way...After prompt correction, we got back on track. He got a couple extra dollars outta me for that wack move, but whatever...could've been worse :)

HELLO!....Hello?....HELLOOOOOOOO?!

My ex used to absolutely HATE when I ignored her. I knew that was one of her pet peeves. When I wanted to mess with her, I would act like I wasn't listening when she would be talking to me. She would sometimes get upset to the point that she would stop talking to me and might even look like she's about to cry.

It took me a while, but NOW I finally know why she hates being ignored so much. At my job, it involves impulse sales, where I'm calling people over to my table to sell them my product. I absolutely HATE, HATE, HATE, when people act like I'm not saying anything. I finally realize how small it can make someone feel and just how plain rude it is. When people avoid me, I find myself growing angry.

I found myself saying out loud that I would never avoid someone like that, but then I had to catch myself. I did it to someone. Someone I cared about. I'll never do that again. Karma is a muthaf#@ka ain't it?

But "so and so" did the same thing....

Imagine this. You and five of your friends come up with a plot to jack some candy from the convenience store down the street from school. One of you actually buys something while you guys act like you're looking while filling up your pockets with everything you can get a five finger discount on. Suppose that while you were all walking out, door open, seconds away from freedom, a pack of Starburst falls out of one of your friend's pockets. Everyone is gone out of the parking lot, but one of you is left behind. Well I was that guy that got left behind.

All of my life, I've always been THAT GUY that got caught. If 50 people did the same thing, I was the 51st guy that got busted. I wouldn't say I was a Bebe's kid, but I was your typical bad a$$ kid coming up. I did more than my fair share of things that, in retrospect, were INCREDIBLY dumb, but for some reason I always faced the consequences. My bad actions always met an opposing and equal reaction. I used to be a klepto when I was a kid. I always got caught stealing. In 7th grade, I changed a grade on my report card. BUSTED. In high school, on senior ditch day, who got busted? YA BOY. Had people over when my mom was at work. BUSTED. Drove with no insurance. BUSTED. Suspended license? BUSTED. I cheated on a girl. Busted for that too. The other day at work, I cut a corner with a customer...you guessed it...BUSTED.

I told my mom that I swear I've always had the worst luck of anyone I knew. We talked about how as far back as I can remember, I never got away with the same things my friends could get away with in their sleep. We had a good laugh at some of the stupid I drowned myself in coming up, but she dropped a jewel on my (like she always does). She said that God has His hand on some of us. Not implying that we all aren't God's children, but there seems to be some of us that God holds to a different standard. Like how in Boyz N Da Hood, Trey got outta the car when Doughboy went looking for Ricky's killer, God has a different plan for some of us, so he leads us in a different direction.

If I haven't learned anything in my life, I know there is a fine line between where I am today, and being young, black, and in jail or dead. I can look back to situations in my life where the outcome could have been completely different had God not have been watching over me.

For much of my life, even now, I have been frustrated by God's plan to keep me on the straight and narrow, but at the very same time, I am extremely grateful for God's grace. I am by no means perfect, and will never be, but it is good to know that whenever I get close to the edge, God always pulls me back.

Frequency

I'm getting on the right frequency. My man talks about how everything has a "frequency". A level of vibration. When you match something's frequency, you attract it. Like when you and someone begin arguing, but end up getting on the same page. Well I feel like I'm getting on the right frequency for success. Today at work, I (once again) improved on my sales numbers from the day before. Made some GREAT money today. And I found out that they are going to start paying weekly beginning next month. Also, my OG homey called me again asking me to do some more contract work for him. Mo money MO money MO MONEY! Also, I've met a few people at the airport that are very interesting. I met a Georgia State Senator who told me to come down and see him if I end up around the Capitol building when he's in session. Also, met Atlanta Falcons receiver Roddy White's mama (very nice lady btw). Also, gotten about 3 or 4 job offers from people who have said that they like my sales style. My manager and all of his bosses love me and have all been saying good things about me. Life is really going up!

HEY!!!!

Made me some money today!!! Had my best sales day at work and feel GREAT! Also did some contract law clerk work for my other big homey over the weekend. MO MONEY! I happened to put down the remote on Suze Orman last night (she talks some real spit don't hate) and she said that giving money makes you powerful, and people with money are attracted to power, so therefore by giving money, you get money. One thing I've learned from this time of being dead a$$ broke, money comes and goes. Not to say that money is unimportant, money no longer defines me. Therefore, I can give it away to others because I no longer feel like when I am giving away money, I am giving away my status. Example, when I did the contract work for the big homey, soon as he paid me, I offered money to my man that hooked it all up for me. He deserved that because I recognized that without his good word, I wouldn't have gotten the money in the first place. Most lame a$$ negroes wouldn't even think of doing that. THAT is called APPRECIATION. Most people SAY they appreciate things, but few ACT appreciative. I used to be the former, but am striving more and more everyday to become the latter. Say thank you more often. It not only applies to money, the more you give of anything, the more you get! My man calls it the law of reciprocity. Look it up...