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Bonus:

Thinking Man's Moment

My sister sent me this...

"Choose your crowd wisely! Mediocrity seems like excellence when you're around a bunch of mediocre people."

- Rev Run



...She doesn't even know how much I needed to be reminded of that...God works in mysterious ways...

It's Gettin Cold Outside...

Throwing Stones From A Glass House

I like quotes. I meditate on them in my daily life. There are many quotes and proverbs that we all pass down and around that seemingly contradict themselves. One of those examples is "Don't throw stones from a glass house." This makes perfect sense right? Confucius also said, "Do not impose upon others what you do not desire for yourself." I tend to sum up these quotes with one word. Integrity. Integrity as a definition can be correlated to CONSISTENCY. Whether with words, actions, or outcomes, something with integrity is consistent in all of those aspects. Now another anecdote says, "You can learn a lot from a dummy." Also, makes sense. God veils the truth in many different packages, and just because the gift isn't in a color you would have chosen, doesn't make it any less the truth.

The problem I have is that I have is that much of my respect for an individual is directly related to my perception of their integrity. While I admit, that I currently am not an individual of the strictest integrity (something that I once was, and WILL return to being), I make an effort to avoid situations of "the pot calling the kettle black". I run into problems when I encounter individuals who seemingly have no qualms with this lack of integrity, dispensing wisdom with an underlying "do as I say, not as I do" philosophy. While I do my best to remember that that the truth is the truth, I find myself becoming increasingly irritated when I encounter these types of individuals. While I have decided that it isn't my job to tell people about themselves, I do struggle with my decision to "let go and let God". I guess this can best sum it up:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Amen.

Movie Review

Tonight I said "F#@k it" and decided to watch The Notebook (It was on TV, I did NOT rent it). I've heard enough women say to me that you can't watch this movie without crying, but after watching, I must respectfully disagree. I'm not going to completely bash this movie, because I can see why millions of women would love this movie, but there was just WAY too much sappiness in this film. For one, in their "summer of love", Noah doesn't get any "love" until the last week! And she talked so d@mn much it didn't really count! Also, Ryan Gosling didn't really match the girl (who's a bada$$ white girl, btw) in acting prowess. In the scene which was supposed to be his emotional climax (where he talked about how she should stay with him and not leave again), he just didn't seem believable, and was almost laughable. Lastly, when they died together at the end, this was just over the top in foolishness. There were some scenes and situations that I was able to actual place myself in and feel the moment, it was just those scenes were overwhelmed by the movie's almost cartoonish predictability, character cliches, and sap.

What I will say is this movie addressed one of my biggest fears of growing old; Alzheimer's. It doesn't run in my family, but I'm definitely scared of growing old and forgetting all that God has given me in my lifetime. I can only imagine how painful it would be for those that loved me (I did feel pretty bad when Allie remembered Noah and forgot him 5 mins later). That honestly scares the crap outta me. But what will be will be. Anyways, would I watch it again? Pass. I'd rather watch Titanic.

Wisdom vs. Knowledge

I've always been someone people would categorize as smart or intelligent. I have always been curious, causing me to relish learning new things (things which I choose to learn at the time I choose to learn them, to be more specific). I've also been called "wise" by some. The latter of which I very much took to heart. I'm beginning to realize how much I and the people that referred to me as wise were misinterpreting the word. Many people, myself included, don't necessarily equate knowledge and wisdom, but we do underestimate the division between them. I, like most people, understand that knowledge and wisdom are associated, but the more I reflect, I'm discerning the link between the two. Knowledge has more to with the information that one's mind gathers and wisdom has more to do with how one's mind utilizes that information.

I was having a debate with someone today at the studio and, as anyone who knows me can attest to, I have the tendency to make it a point to assert my command of a subject rather than create a point of mutual understanding. That method of debate typically leads to an impasse, where everyone merely agrees to disagree and there is no real learning involved in the usually drawn out discussion. I noticed myself heading down that all too familiar path and I paused, took a breathe, and focused on finding a middle ground and then furthering the discussion from there (I also tend to use my listening skills to catch people misusing words, despite me knowing their intent, but that is another fault to be discussed another day). What I realized is wisdom is in that breathe that I took. Recognizing that the true goal of debate is to create a point of mutual understanding and learning between both parties and putting that realization in action is, to me, the very definition of a "wise" action. For a long time, I have used the knowledge that I gain to suppress the opinions and ideas of those who disagree with my own opinions and ideas. I have used my knowledge to destroy rather than build. Rome wasn't built in a day, but recognition is the beginning of all progress right?

"There are three methods to gaining wisdom. The first is reflection, which is the highest. The second is limitation, which is the easiest. The third is experience, which is the bitterest."
- Confucius

New Old Friends

Ran into some old friends that I hadn't seen in almost a year today. It was funny because I was just talking about one of them yesterday and I ran into him at the studio tonight. We did the usual "where you been ats?" and "What's goings ons?" and then just fell into the routine like we never missed a beat. What was noticeable to all of us was how much we had grown since then. One of the first thing one of my friends said about me was "your confidence is different". I noticed the same about them. One of them had a daughter since the last I saw him and I could see the maturity that having a child had generated within him. He was still a little bit of the same ol' silly self, but he definitely had an aura of being more aware of what was going on, something he lacked before. My other friend was still a little bit frustrated about his current situation but he had taken more control of his life, doing things like attaining his GED, and that made him a little more "matter-of-fact" when discussing his grievances, mentioning them not in an effort to suck people into his own misery, but merely to discuss his feelings, a huge difference, trust me.

All in all, I was reminded of how valuable time is. How so much can change about people in just a year. How critical events can shift mindsets so vigorously, pushing people in new directions, creating an almost natural selection scenario; adapt or perish. I think about how much I've changed since I last saw them, how much of my life has changed. I think about how much more I will change in the next year. How will I be one year from now? I know the more I delve into my ongoing process of self-examination, I can only improve. I'm excited for my future. I'm excited for what God has in store for me. I'm grateful for running into my "new old friends". After they left, I sent them a message letting them know that it was great to see them and that I missed them....A new me indeed...

Ho-Hum Birthday

My birthday was, to say the least, lackluster. I can come up with a bunch of bullsh*t reasons, but I know the real reason why. When you've been in a relationship for a long time (about 7 years in my case), when you break up, I mean really break up, it's extremely difficult to move on. I thought I had for the most part been able to at least deal with what I had done to put myself in this position and swallow the pill that the story of me and her won't end like a fairy tale, but it is just so d@mn hard. When you've gone through every significant event in your young adulthood with someone, there is a HUGE hole to fill when that person is gone. I've tried to fill that hole with positive things, like increased contact with family, working out, handling business, but if I learned anything today, that strategy isn't working. In the back of my mind, I hoped that maybe she would send a text or call, not to say anything more than happy birthday, but I know that is selfish of me to even hope that she would do that despite what I did. Today was actually pretty busy for me, because there was a lot of work to do, but there was definitely something (or more accurately someone) missing. Today isn't going down in my own personal history as "one to remember", I sincerely hope this is one I forget, the sooner the better.

Happy Birthday

Today is my birthday. Thank the Lord for another one. I figure what better way to start my birthday off than to go to 7:30am Sunday service? Haven't been to church in longer than I would like to admit. Need a good word and a better prayer. Never done this before...New year, new things!

Yesterday....

SUCKED...In a major way. Nothing went right. Everything was difficult. It was hard to be positive, but I made it through. I even went to bed early just to end it. Today will be better. I know it.

Thinking Man's Moment

“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.”

- Benjamin Franklin


See...THAT'S why this guy is a legend!

Barbershop Talk

Wasn't at the barbershop today (even though I need to go) but we were at the house today having some powerful conversation about relationships. Let me first start off with noting all of my homies are 30 and up, so what made this conversation so powerful to me is these were grown a$$ men who've seen it all and done it all having this conversation.

It started off with the continuation of a conversation we were having yesterday, where one of the homies *Dave* was talking about how he handles his girl's attitude and my other homie *Nate* was saying that just because you do something doesn't make that way the right way to handle it. Today my other homie *Bill* came over and was talking about how him and his girl of 5 years operate. He said that she lets him go out at night and not come back until 6am because she understands that he's a night owl, and he'll usually spend all day with her and then leave all night. We all started to call him out on that bullsh*t until he corrected himself and said that that's how they operate so it's ok. So then Nate went into the same conversation of just because you do that and she accepts it doesn't make it right, and if that woman really cares about you, she doesn't really like that, but she allows it because she may not want to start an argument. Bill argued that he can't stay in the house all night because he gets bored, causing us all to blurt "cop out!" because we all know that is just an excuse Bill uses to go out and do his dirt if he has to. After Bill finally admitted that was wrong what he's doing, but she lets him do it so he's going to continue, we left his sad a$$ alone and moved to Dave. Background on Dave, he always comes over and bi#$hes about his girl and how she disrespects him and they argue a lot blah blah. Well we all used to comment about it, but we leave it alone now because we all now know that he's just venting and he really loves this girl or else he wouldn't choose to continue to deal with her and her "problems". Anyways, Dave goes in on his girl again and how she did this, that whatever, and went into talking about anything he may have done to make her that way. He said that in the past he had ping-ponged with her and his baby mama for a time and then he stopped after they both found out. He said that was a year ago, so he thinks it's unfair that she would hold that over him. Nate talked about how she may have a trust issue and this industry and how we move surely doesn't help, so you can't be mad that she may still struggle with it. Dave fought for a minute, but then he agreed and said the problem was communication. Nate had noted that the other things that she does that Dave may find disrespectful may be a symptom of the real problem which is loneliness, stress from her job, anything.

All in all, we talked about a million things, such as cheating, getting cheated on, settling down, respecting and understanding your woman, compromising to make it work, and how to appreciate the woman that you truly think is the one. This is yet another example of why I cherish this time in my life, I've never before heard black men (former street dudes at that) talk about how to love a woman and the highs and lows that come along with doing that. Father figures are so very very important in the life of a young man, and to be honest, all of my father figures were my sports coaches and all we ever talked about was sports. I'm realizing the hole that has been in my heart and I thank God for putting me in a situation where it can get filled. I see how young black men get caught in the vicious cycle of fulfilling the negative black male stereotype. It's the lack of having a black man say to them, "I've been through this so you don't have to, so sit your a$$ down and listen here." I have been listening, and will continue to do so.

"If the past cannot teach the present and the father cannot teach the son, then history need not have bothered to go on, and the world has wasted a great deal of time."
- Russell Hoban


...indeed.

In the Right Direction

"It's a very slow process - two steps forward, one step back - but I'm inching in the right direction."

- Rob Reiner

Rob Reiner, director of some of my favorite ever (The Princess Bride, A Few Good Men, Ghosts of Mississippi, etc.), was talking about making a movie, but I think this quote applies to my life right now. I've learned so much about myself and my own thought processes, what was right, what was wrong, etc. and I feel like 20 years from now, I'm going to look back at this period of my life as critical to the success I will achieve in the future. But given all of my progress, some days are still easier than others. Some days I feel more negative energy than I would like, but the difference is now I'm more aware of the energy I put out, and how people react to it. I've dedicated myself to the positive, not by ignoring or compartmentalizing negative thoughts or actions, but by facing the source of that negativity and conquering it. I've begun to pray aloud every night before I rest my head (I've noticed that for me, speaking aloud allows me to channel what my spirit is really feeling in a way that praying in my head doesn't. My mind tends to go all over the place when I try to talk to God within my head.), and I have noticed the effect it has on my general disposition (which I've admitted in prior blogs, can be "inconsistent").

In other news, I've been receiving compliments about my improving physique and I'm loving every minute of it. As I've said earlier in blogs, I've decided that I'm going to take every step to make the person that I am in this real world match the person that I want to be in my mind's eye, and being in shape is part of my foundation for achieving that. I have always linked physical and mental discipline, not saying that you can't have one without the other, but even science recognizes the link between diet, physical activity, and mental function. I kind of wish I would've taken before and after pictures so I could see what other people see, but it is what it is. I just know if I keep working out everyday, good things will happen. That's my fitness plan in a nutshell.

On the job side, I'm trying to find another clerk job at another prestigious law firm. In my current situation, I am learning from the big homies how to hustle, but that has never been who I am and I don't want it to be. No matter how good your hustle is, I've never been a fan of the inherent inconsistency associated with it. You can't raise a family on a hustle, but you can on a job. Plus, hustlers don't have benefits or a retirement plan, and I'm a fan of both. Call me square playa, but like Popeye the Sailor, "I yam what I yam!"

yurp.

Thinking Man's Moment

"In every woman there is a Queen. Speak to the Queen and the Queen will answer."

- Norwegian Proverb


...word.

Obama: Too Cool?

First off, let me say that I am definitely a drinker of the Obama kool-aid. When this man gives a speech, don't talk to me, don't call me. I might be the biggest Obama supporter with no Obama paraphernalia (which will soon be rectified when I get my picture of him being sworn in blown up so I can put it on my wall). Anyways, in my opinion, this man can walk on water.

With all that said, I do have a certain bone to pick with my man. He is known as "Mr. Cool" but it's starting to seem like, and I think the leaders of the Republican Party might agree with me, that this guy is lacking some cojones. Yea I said it. I don't think Obama flexes hard enough on these misinformed, discreetly (and sometimes overtly) racist, disrespectful, and loud-mouthed pundits and peers. I don't think he's aggressive enough on healthcare. I think he should've went to Congress months ago. He should do more campaigning to the people about his plan and how he plans to pay for it. With all these Glenn Becks and Joe Wilsons twisting facts and spreading downright lies to galvanize their predominantly white, racist, uninformed base, I don't think Obama has taken enough steps to contend with them and thereby galvanize the 52.9% of the US population that voted for him. We can all concede that Obama delivers fantastic speeches, but it would seem to me that all these bi-partisan efforts of his are only polarizing the legislative branch more. And besides, who cares? The reason Bush was able to get so much of his policies enacted is because he maximized the fact that his party controlled both the House and the Senate. I think Republican elected officials, for the most part, have made it abundantly clear that they aren't going to support the President in any way, so why is he still pandering to them? It only makes him and his party look weak and emboldens Republicans (ie Joe Wilson) to push him further into the corner.

Teddy Roosevelt said "Speak softly and carry a big stick." President Obama speaks softly alright, but when are we going to see him start swinging the stick?

Remember 9/11

9/11 is a day we should never forget. Like "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?", "Where were you on 9/11?" will be the question people will ask 50 years from now. I remember when my roommate in college told me that a plane had hit a tower in NY. Like most people, I didn't believe him at first. I started asking around, checked online. Indeed one of the twin towers was down. Then I went through who I knew from NY. This was my freshman year, first semester, and me being from Cali, I didn't meet anyone from NY until college. I still hadn't at that point, but I knew a guy down the hall that said he had relatives in NY so I went to his room to see if they were alright. He hadn't been able to reach them he said. At school, on Tuesdays there was a required class called Crown Forum where the college would bring in some kind of speaker, most of the time it was an alumnus turned preacher who would speak to us regarding Jesus, hard work, pulling our pants up, etc. Well that day, we all went to Crown Forum wondering what was going to happen, how was the college going to respond. Oddly enough, the college didn't cancel classes, using the time-tested "show must go on" logic. I remember everyone being angry, and most of us didn't go to classes that day anyway. I remember going back to my room and watching CNN all day. I later learned that a guy that I was in class with my junior year, both of his parents were lost in the 9/11 attacks. I tried to imagine how he must feel every year, but I couldn't. Can anyone really imagine that kind of loss?

Remember 9/11 for what it was. The first and only foreign attack on US soil. An attack that forever changed America and her feeling of "it would never happen here". An attack that took the lives of almost 3,000 innocent people. And a n attack that has since cost American taxpayers almost 1 trillion dollars spent on wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. America has/will never be the same.

Take a moment.

Obama & Health Care

Watched Obama's address to health care on Obama and was, as usual, hopeful after another of Obama's "preacher-esque" speeches. I agree that universal health care is a moral issue, not a political one. How we treat the least of us says a lot about the best of us. I do not call myself democrat or republican, but do tend to vote for the democratic candidate simply out of my "lesser of two evils" logic. While I do agree with the Republican ethos of financial conservatism, I do note how they, like most politicians, choose to assert these "core beliefs" when it suits them best. Obama properly noted that it was Republican policies that gave the nation a trillion dollar deficit, and find it extremely hypocritical that their main criticism is how much universal health care would cost. Indeed, the progressive in me says that no one should have to pay for health care. Why even toy with the idea of a public option? If I could choose to get government subsidized health care at a cheaper cost than private, what halfway intelligent consumer wouldn't choose the public option? The fact that the US is the only advanced nation without a universal health care system doesn't suggest that Americans are smarter than everyone else. It just means that we are behind. Honestly, I don't believe Obama when he says he can pass this health care reform without adding any money to the deficit, but I will say that it shouldn't matter. Some things are so much more important than the national deficit. Shouldn't the right to see a doctor if you're sick or injured be one of those things?

Sidenote: Hopped on the scale today and say 185.4. Doing it without losing any strength on my bench press. I recently started a routine of 300 bicycles in the morning and 300 more at night before bed. I'm a little tipsy because I had a couple drinks to celebrate my man's b-day at the studio tonite. I'm bout to go do my 300 now. You can call that discipline ladies and gents .

Great Songs You Probably Haven't Heard

Secret Life of E

I was bored tonight (if you can't tell by the repeat blog) so I decided to finally watch "The Secret Life of Bees" starring Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, and Jennifer Hudson. Yea I know. Grade A chick flick. But you know, a lot of them aren't bad, but I still refuse to ever watch "Waiting to Exhale" with a black woman again (long story). Anyways, the movie is about a white girl and her nanny, who run away from home and end up staying with 3 sisters who own a honey making business. Overall, the movie was enjoyable, but the purpose of this blog is a certain part of the movie. In the end of the movie (not a spoiler) the white girl makes a comment where she says she has "more mothers than anyone" or something like that. Basically she was remarking on how blessed she was that she had so many older women who cared about her around her.

This made me think about how similar my situation was to the girl's. I was in need of a place to stay, and some brothers let me in with open arms. Now I feel like I have more fathers than anyone. I work with these guys and can more than hold my own when it comes to business, but it is really a blessing to have grown a$$ men (as much as I hate to admit, I am not fully one...yet) to educate me about LIFE. This is something that I, like the majority of black youth, missed by being raised by a single mother. I have gotten the opportunity to learn and ask about things that I know I could have used through much of my youth. I remember watching Baron Davis's movie "Made In America: Crips and Bloods" and T.Rodgers, the founder of the Black P Stones (Bloods) said, "My mother couldn't teach me how to be a man, I had to figure that out myself. I didn't become a man until I was 35 years old." What struck me was that he was who he was, saying something like that. Being young black men, and especially in a single parent household, we all try to be "men" and do "man" things, like taking out the trash, or bringing money home. But we only do that because that's what the tv tells us that men should do. Too many of us lack positive male role models to stop us when we go wayward, to say, "I went through that so you don't have to." Lord knows how much I wanted that when I was young, looking for someone I could talk to about "man things", but indeed the Lord has a plan for all of us and He's said it's my time to learn how to be a man. It might be a helluva lot later than I would have liked, but hey, at least I ain't 35 :)

Must See Movie

I watched this movie for the second time today and remembered again why I loved it the first time. This movie is touching and inspiring and I would recommend it to anyone. The gist of the movie is two old men, one wealthy (Jack Nicholson) and one regular joe (Morgan Freeman), both diagnosed with terminal illnesses, decide to create a "bucket list", a list of things they want to do before they "kick the bucket" and comedy and self-actualization abound during the journey. While some may consider the movie cliche and maybe a bit trite, I suggest that if you just sit back and focus on how the movie makes you feel, you will enjoy this movie. Watching this movie reminds me of how precious life is, and how friends and family enrich one's life tremendously. It is so easy to forget the value of relationships and take them for granted, but this movie is always a great reminder. Definitely going to buy the DVD.

Thinking Man's Moment

A couple of the homies were talking about women and how they do wrong and how we do wrong to them. It started with my lil homie talkin about how he just broke up with his girl (she was only his second girlfriend, and was his longest) and how he had seen her after he broke up with her and the feelings were still there and how he was gonna move on, yada yada yada. Anyways, we all concluded, that with how important she was, he's never going to really be able to completely lose his feelings for her, but what he has to do is be able to learn from the experience and continue to grow. After we had the conversation, my man was like, "Yo E, that goes for you too...You need to go out more...cuz you have a lot to offer.."

When he said that, I kinda paused because this conversation wasn't even about me, but it got brought around to me. And being this was coming from somebody I respect, I took it.

I agreed that I need to get out more, but I've kinda been really relaxing from the social scene for a reason. Reason 1 is I haven't gotten over my ex yet, and am not sure if I ever want to. But reason 2 is that I feel like I'm still in the process of self-examination. In these last couple of months, I've learned a LOT about myself and definitely took some major steps in matching my self-perception with my public perception. I feel like I'm still figuring out what I have to offer because I'm realizing that I'm much more than I thought I was (young, black, and degreed) and I'm learning to harness that. I'm becoming much more comfortable with myself, without having to disparage others. Learning how to be confident but not cocky. Smart but not a smarta$$. While I haven't completely turned all those things around in a few months, there is an immense power in being truly aware of your deficiencies. I don't want to go too far off on a tangent, but I think I will have to make more of an effort to get out of the house and meet new people. Even if not to get a new girl, but to share with others what I have to offer. That's what God put us all on this Earth to do right?

Labor Day Weekend

I have done absolutely NOTHING. I watched college football all day yesterday (I kinda thought how pathetic that was around midnite) and today worked out and shot the sh*t wit a couple of the homies. I'm really valuing people more than I used to. I used to get irritated when someone came over while I was watching the game, or a movie, but now I'm more than happy to turn the tv down and chop it up. Anyways, had a good argument (hadn't had one in a while) wit one of the homies today. I was right (this was agreed by all who listened) but my man was funny as hell arguing the wrong side so I kept it going for a little bit. I also made some sauteed chicken (which I'm getting pretty good at btw). Nothing really to talk about, which is why I hadn't checked in...

Perfect Woman

Looks Like...



Cooks Like...



Intelligent Like...



Heart Like...



Elegant Like...



Sports Knowledge Like...



I know I may be reachin wit the "sports" one, but hey...we're talkin perfection right?

D@mn...

I can feel myself getting sick...I broke out the TheraFlu and the Vick's Vapor Rub (whatchu kno bout that?) to try to beat it down before it gets goin...Boo gettin sick at the beginning of Labor Day weekend...

Goin outside to run and try to sweat it out...I feel like sh*t...this should be interesting...

RIP Jasmine Lynn

http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/man-held-in-clark-130043.html

As an AUC alum, I know about the dangers that constantly surround students on a nightly basis. While there were shootings when I was there, including someone being shot point-blank in the head at the CAU barbershop, I don't recall any students losing their lives. It is a shame that it takes events like these to raise awareness to the struggles that AUC students (ESPECIALLY female students) face. It is hard enough to get a secondary education, but it surely adds another burden when you have to worry about your safety.

I think about how Jasmine's parents must feel. You sent your daughter to the #1 HBCU in the nation and you get a phone call at an ungodly hour from some police spokesperson telling you that your daughter has been killed by a gunshot. I can only imagine the out-of-body experience they must be feeling right now. This is something that wouldn't/couldn't sink in, until you see your daughter's body. This truly is a shame...

Note - I do recognize that young black people die senselessly everyday all across this country, but I do think this case is unique because this happened in what some call, the "mecca of black intellectualism", a place where a lot of us send our best and brightest. If we can't keep the few of us that even go on to attend college safe, doesn't that take away some of the power of those that call college an alternative to the streets?

Healthcare Debate

I saw this interview when it came on last week and really enjoyed Bill Moyer's interview, even more than Jay-Z's. In my opinion, he spoke a lot of truth regarding the universal healthcare debate, and I agree with him that we are allowing a basic moral issue to become politicized.



Maybe Obama saw this interview and this made him decide to address Congress next week...Another opportunity for Obama to seize an historic moment...I can't wait...

Ice Cube

"I gotta say...Today was a good day..."

Started off the morning checking emails and got good news that somebody who been bullsh*ttin wit the money has now found a cure for his b#@cha$$ness and has finally cutting my d@mn check. Bout time. It was at the point that it might've gotten ugly next time I saw that dude in person (don't judge me, he playin wit my LIFE man). Then got in a good workout in the sun. For some reason, it was more people than usual at the crib today so we decided to barbecue. Put some wings, hot dogs, and chicken breasts on the grill and also made another batch of wings on the stove. More than the actual barbecue, I love the whole process of making barbecue. Black folks make it a team effort. We all hang around the grill while somebody cooking, talkin ish, tellin the cook, "Ey check on that meat man!" whenever he gets too into the conversation we havin. Today was just full of good people, good food, and good music.

Sidenote: Ya boy washed the meat, seasoned the meat, then did ALL of the dishes after everyone was done. What got me, is usually I'll feel some kinda way about being the only one on dish duty, but it really didn't matter to me. I really operated with what my old pastor called a "heart of service".

Matthew 23:11-12
"But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted."

In case you're wondering, I looked this verse up.....

New Music

More crack from J Cole...download his mixtape The Warm-Up and catch him on Jay's Blueprint 3...don't sleep!

ADD Blog

- My new favorite show on TV (of the few I watch anyways) is "How'd You Get So Rich?" on VH1 and TVLand. I get inspired by watching people who didn't play basketball or make music show off their ridiculous houses, cars, etc. I don't think the tv makes enough effort to let people know A)How much money is REALLY out there, and B)Most millionaires made their money with their MINDS.

- I, like about 5 million other people, downloaded Jay-Z's new Blueprint 3. Dude went in like he always does, but this is coming from someone who believes Jay is the best ever. Favorite tracks are "Thank You", "A Star is Born feat. J. Cole", and "Young Forever feat. Mr. Hudson". Is it just me or is Jay swaggerjackin Kanye again? Kanye had a record wit Coldplay. Jay had a record wit Coldplay. Kanye had a record wit Mr. Hudson. Jay has a record wit Mr. Hudson. (things that make you go hmmmmm...)

- I really, really, REALLY didn't wanna run today, but I dragged my a$$ outta the house and went ahead and did it. I didn't regret it. I'm of the opinion that discipline over body translates into discipline over other things in one's life. And it helps that you look good naked too right?

- Again, I, like about 4 million other people, listened to Drake's "Forever feat. Lil Wayne, Kanye West, and Eminem". Most people say Eminem kilt it, but I think that Drake went the hardest. He just sounded more "hungry" than everyone else to me. Plus, I'm not really a fan of fast-rapping Em. Em was second-best tho. Also, I'm pleasantly surprised by the new material that I'm hearing from Drake. With his buzz at "Obama might run for the White House" status, I was assuming that the only way he could go was down. He's seemed to do the smart thing and stay his a$$ in the studio and insulate himself from the hype. Can't wait for his album.

- I revamped my resume today and I think it looks damn good! I've got a career-planning specialist reviewing it, and I'm thinking she'll give me the thumbs up!

- My second favorite show on TV is(was) the T.O. Show. The show did a great job of showing us "Terrell" as opposed to "T.O.", whom we all knew. But I did want to get a little more background on how in the hell he met Mo and Kita. Where in God's name did they come from? I think it's amazing that with all their diva antics and seeming "control" over T.O.'s life, the public has never seen or heard of them before.

- Listened to Trey Songz's new album "Ready" again today. Thought it was so-so the first time, but gave it a second chance and didn't regret it. Quality music. Favorite tracks "Does He Do It" and "Say Aaaah feat. Fabolous". Maybe this will be Trey's album that takes him from "consistent gold-seller" to "consistent platinum-seller".

- A few of these folks in the music industry are so very lucky I don't have a buddy pass. I swear I be havin the mind to hop on a plane and come see these foos. From sending me to voicemail when I'm callin about money YOU owe ME, to talkin gangsta on the phone, I swear some of these people don't wanna see me in person. I ain't Deebo, but I ain't Smokey neither. Respect it.

Overqualified?

Lately I've been trying to find a part-time job within the legal realm. Thought it would be a great way for me to get back into the field before I do the law school thing. Plus would be a great place to get last minute references :) Anyways, I've applied for a couple of positions, but for some reason, I haven't heard anything back. Most of them have been on Craigslist, and being that there are no phone numbers I've had to just send a follow-up email to the same random email that I initially sent my cover letter and resume to.

What is bugging me, is why wouldn't I hear anything back? I don't know how other people operate, but when I apply for a job and nobody calls me back, I take it personal. For one, I'm not one of those people that just send generic cover letters to everyone they apply for. I take the time to personalize each one. Two, I don't just apply to any old place with an opening. I make sure I'm qualified for each position I apply for. Thirdly, I think I'm a damn good worker. So what's really good? I don't know...

I'll update on how this goes...

PS - Currently listening to Kevin Michael - We All Want the Same Thing...QUALITY

Thinking Man's Moment

Meditate on this...

“Men fail much oftener from want of perseverance than from want of talent”

- William Cobbett